


i scraped my hands (and you kissed them better)

by DisasterLesbean



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/F, Vampire Bella Swan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 21:30:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisasterLesbean/pseuds/DisasterLesbean
Summary: It’s been so long that her muddied human memories have betrayed her. She had forgotten just enough so that she didn’t immediately register the familiar voice. The voice is a bit different than before, it’s sharpened with vampirism to flay Bella bare to the world.





	i scraped my hands (and you kissed them better)

_2019_

She gets to class early to ensure a seat in the back just like she always does. She puts her earbuds in as deep as they’ll go and turns her music up as loud as possible. It’s a wasted effort. It doesn’t drown out the sound of humans clustering into one room. Some are nervous for their first day, some are excited, all are loud in their own way. She tightens her fists under the table, careful not to break anything. 

She can hear their heartbeats, the way their clothes shifts against their skin, the hearty laughter. It’s like an aphrodisiac, it is an open invitation. She wishes she could turn the volume up higher. 

“The first day is always the worst.” A large hand slaps her back hard enough to jar her. She blinks in surprise at the man, vampire, who sits next to her. No one ever voluntarily sits next to her. She radiates enough danger to scare off students until they have no other option but to sit next to her. More importantly, no student could ever move her. 

“Excuse me?” Due to her surprise, her voice comes out in an awkward stutter.

“The humans are always so excited and sweaty. Jasper is practically drooling.” The guy smiled friendly at her. He nods towards his friend who looks tense and half a hair from killing everyone. 

“Humans?”

“No need to play dumb babe, we’re all vampires here.” Her eyes widened and she looked to see if anyone heard despite the low tones he was using. 

“Shut up!” Bella didn’t want to be outed her first day in a new town.

“A nomad has more sense than you, honestly.” A woman cut in blithely. Bella’s gaze got stuck on their odd eyes.

“You’ve never met vegetarians have you?” The guy asked her.

“What?” 

“We feed on animals, not humans.”

“That’s possible?” Bella’s eyebrows shot up. She’d never considered that.

“Yep.” He pops obnoxiously. “She’s Rosalie and I’m Emmett Cullen.” He reached a hand towards her. She took it and for once was able to use some strength. She hates the amount of times humans have teased her over her light grip.

“Is this your territory?” Bella didn’t want to be torn apart because of a misunderstanding.

“Technically this is Denali territory, we’re staying with their permission.” The class starts and the professor introduces herself but they keep up their quiet conversation. She isn’t sure how to nicely ask if they’ll kill her for trespassing. 

“They’ll be fine so long as you don’t challenge them or their territory.” Jasper says tightly. She isn’t sure how he knew exactly what her question was going to be. 

“Okay, could you set up a meeting? I don’t want to start anything.” Bella fiddles with her bracelet, trying to contain her fear. The last time she had to fight over territory still haunts her. 

“So long as you don’t challenge them and aren’t slaughtering indiscriminately they won’t attack you.” Jasper reassures her again, his voice softer than she thought possible.

“Speaking of, what’s a red eye like you doing in school?” Emmett asks.

Bella shrugs, avoiding their piercing gaze. “I like learning.” 

“You like school?” Emmett fake gags at her words.

“There’s not many places you can learn about Native Alaskan language.” Bella never finds herself bored with school so long as she changes colleges often. Every college has unique classes and new things she can learn. 

“There’s the internet.” Rosalie says with a hint of challenge. She is questioning Bella’s intentions, she’s sure of it. She isn’t sure why Rosalie cares. Maybe she thinks Bella is using school as a hunting ground, maybe she just wants a reason to oust her. Bella doesn’t want to get on Rosalie’s bad side.

“It’s not the same as class. The internet has the information sure but it isn’t the same learning from someone who knows the language. It’s just ones and zeros on a screen. It’s not like when a human can give you something tangible, something only lived experience can teach you.” 

Rosalie settles at her words but rolls her eyes. “Edward is going to love you.” 

“Edward?”

“There’s more to our coven.” It seems like it’s going to be a day of surprise for Bella, she’s never seen a coven this big.

“How many are there?” 

“Seven. Plus five in the Denali coven.” Jasper says.

“Wow.” She hadn’t wanted to fight over territory but now she realizes it wouldn’t be a fight, it would be an execution.

“What’s your name?” Emmett asks her.

“Bella.”

“Cool. You should come meet the rest of the kids after class.” 

“Kids?”

“You can meet Carlisle and Esme when you meet the Denali coven.” Emmett replies like that answers Bella’s question. 

She pulls her phone free and is careful to avoid the professor’s attention.

Bella (10:42) Met v’s at class. Meeting more after. 

Victoria (10:42) What the fuck? I told you school isn’t a good idea. I can be there in five.

Bella (10:42) Thanks, they’re numbered at 7-12 so don’t start anything.

Victoria (10:42) Me? I’d never.

She puts her phone away and tries to pay attention to class. “I invited my coven-mate to our meet up.” 

“How many do you have in your coven?” Rosalie straightens in her seat, her posture battle ready.

“It’s just us.” She doesn’t question how quick Rosalie flipped into fight mode. She gets it. Unfamiliar covens are hardly a good thing.

She knows when Victoria shows up. She couldn’t make out the vampire scent that clings to the Cullens due to all the humans but she can make Victoria out anywhere. She can hear Victoria muttering under her breath about dumb fake blondes and feels herself relax.

The Cullens don’t seem aggressive but the fact remains they could choose to kill her if they want. They’re not the safest people to run into. She feels safe with Victoria, there’s a reason they’ve stuck together. Some covens are alliances made out of necessity, Bella likes to think theirs is something else. Closer to how family should be. 

“I let you out of my sight for one hour.” Victoria looks up from her phone when they walk out of the classroom. 

Bella shrugs at her worried expression and smiles shakily. “I made friends.”

“On the first day too, I’m so proud.” Victoria’s words have a reproach that likely only Bella can pick up. She isn’t happy with how quick Bella found trouble. She shouldn’t be surprised, Bella always has a way of finding trouble. 

“It’s fine.” Bella settles next to Victoria as they follow the Cullens to the rest of their family. “They said there wouldn’t be a problem as long as we keep a low profile and respect the Denali’s claim to the land.” 

Victoria looks annoyed as she slides Bella a disbelieving look. Victoria hates interacting with other vampires. Bella can’t blame her after everything Victoria has been through. Vampires have a way of ruining her life. 

“Jazz.” A man, vampire, calls out to Jasper. He looks worried and keeps shooting Bella an odd look. 

“It’s alright Edward, they don’t have any ill intentions.” 

“I can’t read her.” Victoria tenses at Edward’s words.

“Read her? What exactly are you trying to do?” The growl builds in Victoria’s chest, her entire stance becomes aggressive. Bella looks around the crowded parking lot and grabs Victoria’s arm. 

“There’s humans all around us.” Bella reminds her, hoping to intercept Victoria’s rage. Victoria also doesn’t trust any vampire other than Bella. She really needs Victoria not to start a fight when they’re so obviously outnumbered.

“He didn’t mean anything by it. He can read minds.” Jasper replied placatingly, the other Cullens have all subtly shifted into their own readied stances.

“Relax! You’re all going to give yourselves early heart attacks.” A twinkling voice interrupts their impromptu standoff. The laugh works in tandem with the blanket of ease that overcomes Bella. The sense of calm and relaxation drops Bella’s own defenses as well as the others.

Her lack of defenses don’t prepare her for what she sees. The devastation is let free to ravage her soul. She wishes she could go back in time to bolster her defenses, raise up her walls, anything to protect her heart from this unbearable pain. 

It’s been so long that her muddied human memories have betrayed her. She had forgotten just enough so that she didn’t immediately register the familiar voice. The voice is a bit different than before, it’s sharpened with vampirism to flay Bella bare to the world. 

“Jasper?” Edward calls out worried as Victoria grabs her arm. Edward looks her way with a confused expression and Victoria’s grip tightens enough to crack her marble skin. 

“Bella.” Victoria sounds worried, panicked. She knows something is wrong but doesn’t know what. All she knows is she needs to help Bella. 

Bella doesn’t think there is any way to help her. Not while she’s caught in this golden hell.

Eyes that are so familiar but so different. Eyes that are wide with concern but empty of recognition. 

All she sees is Mary Alice Brandon. 

Can she see how she’s dragged Bella’s heart out onto the asphalt between them? 

“Mary.” The change is instant, the Cullens become more aggressive and Alice looks like she shuts down. Her face empties and she looks to be searching. Bella remembers that look. It’s the look she gets when she tries to see, tries to force a vision. The rest of her family looks ready to kill Bella.

“We’re leaving.” Victoria hisses at the Cullens tugging Bella’s arm to get her to move. She wants to stay, she wants to argue, she wants Mary. 

She lets Victoria tug her away. 

As soon as they’re out of human view Victoria takes off in a dead sprint away from the violent vampires. 

“What the hell Bella! I thought we weren’t challenging them?” Victoria stops them in a snowy forest. She’s ranting at Bella, her defensiveness giving way to anger. She stops when she looks over at Bella and sees her all but collapsed in on herself. “Come here.” Victoria tugs her into a hug and Bella presses her head against her stomach. She knows if she could cry she would be.

“It’s Mary.” It takes Victoria a moment to realize what she’s saying but when she does realize she holds Bella tighter. 

“You never told me her name.” Victoria’s voice is softer now, like Jasper’s had been. 

Victoria knows the story even if she doesn’t know Mary’s name. It is how they met after all. 

“He said he killed her.”

“I know.” 

“He said she was dead.”

“He was a rotten bastard.” Victoria’s voice holds its own pain. Her relationship with James a sensitive topic they rarely broach. 

“I left her.”

“No, you couldn’t have known. You didn’t abandon her. It’s not your fault.”

How many times has Victoria assured her it isn’t Bella’s fault? It is. Bella knows it is even if Victoria won’t admit it. 

If Bella had just been home, Mary would have been safe.

_1905_

Her momma let go of her hand and let her stumble along the side of the road. She’s careful not to go near the big loud horses and yelling men. She stays close to her momma but far enough that she gets a proud look for her efforts. She runs her hands over the skirts of her new dress. They’re almost home because momma has to start making dinner soon. 

Momma took her to meet some other girls her age in hopes of finding a friend. They were nice and Isabella liked them just fine but none of them were what she is looking for. She wants a best friend like momma and Auntie Louise.

She’s skipping along the side of the road, avoiding holes and rocks, when she runs into her. She falls and scrapes her hands on the rough dirt. She hurts her knees but her stockings and dress protects them from the same bloody fate. She feels her eyes well up with tears and lip quiver. 

“I’m sorry!” A girl’s light voice calls out in panic. “Did I hurt you?” Isabella looks up into soft dark brown eyes. The other girl looks like the same age as her but she’s bigger, she’s sitting on her butt having been knocked down as well. Isabella tries to swallow her tears in front of this worried girl.

“M’ fine.” Isabella replies shyly. She sits back on her heels, trying not to cry at the sting on her palms.

“I hurt you.” The girl looks so impossibly sad at the thought. She carefully grabs Isabella’s wrists and kisses the scraped palms. “I’m sorry.” Isabella’s heart thuds weirdly and she finds the urge to cry a distant memory. She could never cry when she’s with this girl.

“It’s okay. Why’d you do that?”

“That’s what my momma does when I get hurt, it always makes me feel better. Did it make you feel better?”

“It did.”

The girl’s guilty expression melts into a happy smile. “It worked! It was a bit gross though.” Her nose wrinkles at the taste of dirt and blood.

“I’m Isabella.” 

“I’m Mary Alice, you can call me Mary.”

“I can?”

“Of course, we’re gonna be best friends.” Mary tells her this with no hesitation, like it’s just the way it’s going to be. Isabella doesn’t argue because she hopes it’s true. She thinks this might be her Louise. 

They do become best friends. They spend nearly every day together since they live so close. Isabella’s momma is rarely home and her daddy hasn’t been home in a long time so she spends most of her time at Mary’s house. She doesn’t really like Mary’s daddy but she knows better than to say as much. Luckily, he’s rarely home either. She adores Mary’s momma. She knows Mary’s momma dotes on her and she never tells her own momma. 

They spend their time playing, learning, dressing, all things girls their age should be doing. 

_1910_

“Isabella, can I tell you something?” Mary is whispering in the dark of night. She doesn't want to wake anyone else in the house up.

“You can tell me anything.” Isabella assures her, holding her hands between them on the bed.

“I think…” Mary’s eyes dart around, nerves still present. It occurs to Isabella that Mary’s afraid. It feels wrong to see her best friend wear that expression. Her friend who’s always quick to smile, the first one to laugh and the brightest person in Isabella’s life. Someone like that should never look afraid. 

“Mary, it’s okay.” Isabella holds Mary’s clammy hand tighter, wanting to somehow convey nothing she says could ever change how much Isabella loves her. 

“I can see things before they happen.” Mary pales at her own words. Isabella’s hands loosen in shock. Her friend Jessica once said she could see the dead and she disappeared the next day. Isabella still isn’t sure where she went but she knows it’s not the kind of thing a person can say. It’s the kind of thing that gets you labeled different, insane. Mary looks like she’s about to throw up so Isabella shifts closer and hugs her. 

“We can’t play hide-and-seek anymore. I knew you cheated.” Isabella kisses her nose and feels Mary’s arms wrap around her neck. She shakes and Isabella just awkwardly rubs her back. She feels Mary press her cold snotty nose into her chest and she just keeps holding on. Luckily Mary is crying quietly so no one else hears. It hurts her to hear Mary cry.

“Thank you.” She mumbles sleepily into Isabella’s nightdress when the quakes stop.

“When did it first happen?”

“When I saw you.”

Isabella keeps Mary’s secret. She’d go to the grave with it. She learns not to doubt it. Mary will tell her small things, almost absentmindedly, and Isabella always listens.

“Wear a coat.”

“Stay at my home tonight.”

“Don’t eat that.” 

Anything, no matter how small, Isabella heeds. One time she thought Mary was teasing her and ate something Mary warned her against, she was bedridden for days. So, she listens. It works out well because Mary loves to talk and Isabella loves to listen.

Mary encourages her to learn to read when her own momma looked down on it. Mrs. Brandon sneakily gave her a copy of Wuthering Heights and Frankenstein.

“Darling, women should know how to read and write. Only fools don’t educate their children.” Mrs. Brandon hugged her before letting her run off to show Mary. She ignores the fact Mrs. Brandon obviously carries a disdain for her momma. Isabella understands even if she can’t agree. Her momma leave her in Mrs. Brandon’s care quite often.

_1913_

Mary and her are sitting under trees, cooling in the shade. They’re staying out of sight of Mrs. Brandon who’ll no doubt make them wash clothing if she catches sight of them. They’re closer to the heart of town and they’re watching people go about their lives. They’re hiding in trousers and loose fitting shirts, disguised as men so they won’t be noticed.

“Look at her dress.” Mary’s dreamily voice floats over to her. Isabella looks up from her worn copy of Frankenstein to look at the lady Mary is talking about. 

Isabella is happy in trousers and men’s clothing, a feeling Mary doesn’t entirely share. Mary likes some men’s clothes but she much prefers the pretty fabrics and colors of women’s. Isabella doesn’t talk about it much. She knows it’s odd how much she prefers men’s clothes, not to mention the fact she doesn’t much care for men at all.

“It’s pretty.” Mary gives her an unimpressed look.

“You barely even looked.”

“I looked long enough to know it’s pretty.”

“How do you know it’s pretty then?”

“I know it’d be pretty on you.” Isabella nearly curses how those words tumbled out of her mouth. Mary’s face blanks and gets that look that Isabella knows not to interrupt. Mary’s vision is broken by a beaming smile, bright eyes that pin Isabella in place.

“I’ll take that expert advice, Bella.” Hearing that new nickname her cheeks pinken, Bella looks away muttering before opening her book again. She isn’t absorbing anything but she can’t look right at Mary’s soft expression. 

_1915_

They don’t really get along so great with others. Not other girls or boys their age, not even people older than them. They aren’t rude but they’re a unit. They hardly go anywhere without each other. Plus, the other girls look at Mary weirdly. It takes Isabella longer to notice why. 

They’re older by now, the pudge of youth gone and Bella has outgrown Mary. 

“Witch!” An older girl from school tosses a rock at Mary. Bella steps between the girl and Mary, fists tightening ready to protect her friend. 

“Bella.” It’s soft and sad. Mary urges her back, trying to calm her down. Mary always sounds sad now. She has ever since she tried to warn a friend of incoming doom, a warning that went ignored. Ever since her body was buried others has turned against Mary.

Bella narrows her eyes at the girl, leaving a clear threat, before she turns and marches Mary away from the bully. Mrs. Brandon isn’t home so Bella takes Mary to the bathroom, Mary just follows listlessly. 

Bella’s hands shake as she wets the cloth. She wants to hurt everyone who tosses rocks and sharp words at Mary, she just wants to protect her friend. Mary’s protected her throughout her life. She picks her up when she falls and gives her a friend in an otherwise lonely life. She’s like a part of Bella herself. Bella doesn’t know what her life would be like without Mary.

She’s careful when she cleans up the bloodied line the cuts through Mary’s lip. It doesn’t look like the rock broke her teeth and Bella counts her blessings. Mary’s fingers tighten on the chair she’s sitting on. She cleans the blood away from the cut and looks for the thread and needle she knows that’s kept in the house. She finds it and returns to Mary, finding her unmoved.

The blood started dripping again since Mary didn’t hold the cloth to the cut.

“You’re not a witch.” She cleans the stray blood up and presses the cloth to her lips. “You’re not a freak.” She takes it away and kisses the cut, just as Mary had all those years ago. “You’re not crazy.” She squeezes Mary’s hand before she sticks the needle into her skin. “You’re the best person I know and I’m sorry about your friend.”

Mary shudders but doesn’t move or talk until Bella is done suturing the wound.

“I love you.” Mary says, her eyes lost and her lips still downturned. At least she’s talking now.

“I love you forever.” Bella rests her forehead against Mary’s.

“I could have done more.” Of course that’s what upsets Mary. She thinks it’s her fault, she thinks she could have changed anything. She tried and no one listened. They hate her for trying. Bella will just hate them all for Mary.

“You did all you could.”

She thought she couldn’t lose anymore of her friend. She thought her bright spot couldn’t get dimmer. Yet, when Mary’s cousin’s body cools and the harassment gets worse, she will learn there is more to lose.

_1917_

Bella’s eyes are slowly sliding shut against her own accord. The hot summer air lays sticky on her skin and she’s tired after a night of no sleep. It was too hot to sleep under sheets with Mary’s warmth so close. The sounds of cheap lead against paper lulls her to sleep.

“What’re you drawing?” It’s an idle question, a last attempt to stay awake.

“You.” Bella’s eyes snap open to Mary’s amused smile. It’s been days since she’s seen Mary smile.

“Absolutely not.” Bella lunges and tries to take the pencil and paper away from Mary. Mary squeal and laughs, desperately keeping the instruments away from Bella. She eventually hugs them to her body when she realizes Bella has a longer reach than her. Bella tickles Mary’s side to loosen her grip and Mary breaks out in hysterical laughter. Bella takes the paper from underneath Mary’s body and rolls away victoriously.

The picture is actually really nice, Mary found a new passion in drawing and Bella’s never seen herself like this. It might have been a mistake to wrestle over a drawing as the sweat only grows worse. The thick heat clings worse for each labored breath. 

Mary lands on her stomach and Bella groans at the unexpected weight. Mary takes advantage of her winded state and takes the picture away, holding it above her head with a radiant smile. 

“Looks like I win, Miss Swan.” Mary brags, her eyes glowing with joy and crinkled with a bit of knowing. It’s the look she always gets when Bella plays into one of her visions. It lifts Bella’s own spirits since Mary hasn’t had a vision she could be happy about in a while. 

“We all tell ourselves pretty lies, Miss Brandon.” Bella sits up and the difference in height once again becomes clear when she can easily reach the drawing. She presses her hands into the grass to balance herself as she raises an eyebrow at Mary, the taunt easily read. She could easily get the drawing and is waiting for Mary to come up with some defense.

She doesn’t expect the warm press of lips.

She’s thought about it, heaven knows she’s thought about it. Sometimes it’s all she can think about. She knows it’s the kind of thing people don’t talk about. She knows she can’t tell anyone about it just like Mary can’t tell people about the visions. People know now and she’s labeled a freak. No one knows about Bella, not even Mary. At least, she thought.

She’s always loved Mary the very best, she didn’t think Mary noticed just how she loved her.

“Where’s that ego gone? I thought you’d won.” Mary teases her. Bella knows she must look struck dumb but she can’t seem to catch up with what just happened. Mary’s still so close. Too hot, too sweaty, and exactly everything Bella has ever wanted since she learned what it is to want. 

“I think I still might’ve won.” Bella murmurs. She swallows Mary’s happy giggles and presses their bodies closer. 

This time she kisses Mary back, tracing along the familiar yet forgein terrain of Mary’s lips. The scarred ridge from the rock, the slick yet chapped texture, the radiating heat. It’s the perfect kiss in Bella’s mind. From the way Mary’s arms wind around her neck to the way Bella’s fingers tighten around Mary’s waist. Mary’s tongue probes along her lower lip and she eagerly opens her mouth. She wants Mary close, needs her closer. She slides a hand down Mary’s body and grabs her thigh, tipping them back.

Mary wraps the leg around Bella’s hips and pulls her closer. Mary’s long hair falls across the grass and Bella braces a forearm against the ground, careful not to tug on her hair. She explores Mary’s mouth with her tongue, mapping every spot she’s never before felt. She doesn’t know what she’s doing but with Mary’s heavy breathing she thinks she’s doing something right. The soft slide of Mary’s tongue against hers lights her heated skin on fire. She feels overly sensitive, like little explosions are happening beneath her skin.

She pulls back and stares into Mary’s pleased eyes, her smile is small but so genuine it causes Bella to laugh in delight. “I couldn’t wait until this day.” Bella’s breath catches as she thinks about the meaning of those words. Mary knew this was going to happen.

“Neither could I.”

It’s not that their relationship was leading up to this. Their friendship was never dependent on this. It’s not their getting together because they’ve always been together. It’s another step in what was already a strong relationship. It isn’t the final step, it isn’t their final destination, it’s just another layer of intimacy. It’s just more of them. 

She presses her lips to Mary’s sensitive throat and leaves a trail of hot kisses. Salty sweat coats her lips and tongue but she presses further down. Mary’s breathing only quickens more and her grip becomes insistent. 

She knows Mary isn’t fond of the masculine cut of the shirt she’s wearing but it’s one of Bella’s favorites on Mary. She wonders if Mary realizes that, a quick look at Mary’s faux innocent look only confirms it. 

“I love you even if you scheme.”

“I love you even if you pine.”

It’s not too long after that Mary starts seeing her mother’s murder.

_1917_

Bella’s chest feels hollow as she holds Mary together. She feels like someone came along and scooped everything good from her. She believes Mary, always. She believes that her mother was murdered. 

It leaves her feeling cold.

It doesn’t matter what Mary saw, it still happened. Mary lost her mother and Bella...Bella lost a mother too. Days have gone by and Mary is still a wreck, the guilt that colors her mother’s death is clear as day. It’s not enough to lose a mother but she had to see it ahead of time.

Bella tried being there for her, she tries, but there’s only so much she can do. Some things can’t be put back together. Some wrongs can’t be made right.

She misses when it was just a rock or a harsh word, she could do something about those. Here, she’s powerless. She can’t find the murderer, she isn’t strong enough to kill them. She can’t protect Mary and she can’t avenge Mrs. Brandon. 

All she can do is hold Mary as she sobs. 

She never lets Mary see her cry.

_1918_

“It’s that woman’s fault!” Mary’s seething, a righteous anger burning her, bringing her back to life before Bella’s eyes. 

“Who?”

“She killed momma just so she could marry daddy. I know it!” She hardly recognizes this Mary. She’s never seen Mary so angry, so ready for violence. Even when the bullies would call her names she’d just slink off, not wanting to hurt anyone or fight them. It’s always been Bella who would bloody her fists if she thought it would help Mary. 

“Are you sure?”

“It’s me.” Mary reminds her. 

“I’m with you.” She’d do anything for Mary.

“I’m going to tell daddy, he’ll listen to me.” 

Bella has her own misgivings about that. Mary’s daddy has never listened to her visions, has sneered at the very thought of them, it was always her mother who listened to her. She can’t say that, she can’t slander him when Mary looks so certain. 

She has so much faith, so much love, she can’t tell Mary it’s misplaced. 

_1919_

Her momma rarely remembers she exists. Sometimes she does and sends her off. She doesn’t give her money but expects Bella to get whatever she requests. Bella’s learned to save money for these occasions. Her momma looks at her like she’s a stranger and sends her off like a servant. 

She goes.

She always goes because even if her momma looks at her like less than nothing, she’s still her momma. If she didn’t go, no one would. Her momma would rot away without her. So she goes.

She hates herself for it.

She hates herself for so long, so many years.

She gets home goes to bed. 

Mary’s daddy and step-mother don’t like her over as much as Mrs. Brandon did. She doesn’t go over because she knows she’ll be turned back around. 

She wakes up thinking it's just another day.

“Guess the freak ran out of time.” Elizabeth jeers, her smile too cruel for the early hour.

“What?”

“Didn’t you hear? She ran to the marshal in a state, said her daddy was trying to kill her. She’s completely mad. You know what happens to those kinds of people.” Bella’s heart stops and the ground spins.

“I have to go.”

“She’s already gone! You’re running to a ghost!” Elizabeth cackles at her sprinting form. 

She knocks her fists on the door desperately, needing to see Mary. The uncontrollable fear causes her arms to quake.

Mr. Brandon opens the door but doesn’t let her in. “She doesn’t live here anymore.” His eyes burn with hate, she hopes hers look the same. 

“Where is she?”

“That’s none of your business. Go home, don’t come back here.” He closes the door in her face and breaks her heart. She beats her fists against the door again, banging and begging. She chokes on her tears but she doesn’t stop beating on the door. 

“Shh, baby we have to go.” Her momma’s voice soothes her, arms wrapping around her and dragging her from the door. 

She lets her momma take her home and cries enough that she could drown in her own tears. Her hands are crusty with blood and she knows the Brandon’s door bears the marks of her love. 

She gets the story later, how Mary had gone crazy and went around running from Mr. Brandon. She knows Mary would have come here first, that she would have sought solace with Bella.

“Why didn’t you answer the door momma?” The look she gets answers the question. Her momma was too deep in the bottle to even hear the knocking, the crying, the screaming. She knows Mary would have screamed. She hopes Mary knows she wasn’t here, that she didn’t let her suffer. She would have opened the door. She would have run away with her.

Instead, Mary’s own family threw her from their house and into her father’s grasp.

Bella is consumed by hate. At herself, at others, at the whole world.

_1923_

She stops moving when she hears the muffled scream. She moves again, searching out the source. A woman is awkwardly bent, throat bared, and a dark man stands behind her. She can’t look away from the peculiar red eyes.

He sees her too but he doesn’t move. She doesn’t move either. They hold each other’s gaze in a standoff. He lets the woman’s body drop and tilts his head, seemingly intrigued by her.

“No screaming?” He asks her. 

“She screamed, it didn’t seem to really help.” He laughs at her words, his lips twisting into a grotesque smile. The blood makes him look like something out of a nightmare.

She still doesn’t scream.

He isn’t human, that’s something she understands quick. She thinks he might be Frankenstein’s monster. She likes Frankenstein’s monster. He’s a creature of circumstance. Is he truly the villain or is Frankenstein? She’s read it enough times to have her own opinion. Men like this creature are no more villains than the Mr. Brandons that make them.

Frankenstein’s creature also reminds her of Mrs. Brandon. She knows it must have cost her a bit to buy Bella those two books and she treasures them both. 

The man isn’t hideous like Frankenstein’s monster, he’s shockingly beautiful. It’s macabre in its own way. The combination of gore and beauty shouldn’t exist. 

“How interesting.”

“Are you Frankenstein’s creature?”

“I don’t know what that is so I think not.”

“Would you like to know?”

He eyes widen at the words and he nods. She tells him about Frankenstein and he tells her about himself.

He proposes changing her and she knows she’ll agree.

In the years that have passed she hasn’t made any progress in finding Mary. Even if she finds her, she’s still so weak. Too weak. She needs the strength that he offers.

She agrees and finds herself lost to blinding pain. 

_2019_

“Eddie said we’d find a couple of you encroaching on our territory.” A blond vampire calls from behind Victoria.

“We don’t want trouble.” Victoria tries deescalating, body protectively covering Bella.

“Way we heard it you nearly threw down with the Cullens in a parking lot.” A different vampire said almost excitedly. “You have no idea how much that made me laugh.”

“Kate finds it amusing, I find it a threat.” The first vampire says.

Bella stands tall, moving beside Victoria. She’s a fighter. She’s been a fighter her whole life. She fought the bullies, she fought societal expectations, she fought to find Mary, she’s fought vampires. She’s killed vampires. Victoria settles, more relaxed now that she has Bella battle ready and on her side.

They made a good team, James and Laurent learned that the hard way. Between Victoria’s survival instinct and her shield, most vampires don’t stand a chance. Five against two isn’t great odds but it isn’t the worst. It’s better than twelve.

“We don’t mean any harm, we don’t want a fight.” Bella’s voice is iron. She hasn’t let herself get beaten down by anyone since Mr. Brandon shut the door in her face. 

“Oh.” Victoria’s soft voice carries to her. Bella sees her eyeing a third blonde, one who hasn’t spoken yet. The blonde is looking at her oddly as well, not as upset as the others.

“Irina?” The first vampire, head of the coven if Bella had to guess, asks Irina.

“She smells nice.” It’s grudging, like there’s a war going on in Irina’s head.

“Oh.” Victoria says again dumbly, her entire body settling.

“What’re you doing?” Bella nervously asks Victoria as she spreads her shield over her. She hopes she can protect her if it’s some weird mind control power. 

“She’s what James told me he was.” Bella freezes at that.

“Are you sure?”

“Entirely.” 

“So we’re not fighting?” Kate sounds let down.

“We’re not but they might.” The only male vampire in the coven responds as the Cullens burst into the clearing.

Bella’s eyes fall on Mary immediately. Mary looks distressed, confused, and she’s completely focused on Bella.

“Alice, I can’t read the redhead either now.” Edward says to Mary. She wants to scream, wants to beat him upside the head. How dare he talk to her, how dare he call her Alice, that’s Mary. She doesn’t.

“It’s a shield.” The guy from the Denali coven says and Bella nods numbly.

“Can you drop it?” Mary asks her,.

“Yes. Why should I?”

“Because I’m asking.” Mary tries. It’s the same tone whenever she’d say something she wasn’t sure Bella would go for, something her visions didn’t predict. 

For the first time in so many years, she drops her shields. 

Mary steps forward carefully, like she’s approaching a wild animal. It hurts in a way words can’t really convey. It is like the door being slammed in her face, it's like finding the asylum but no Mary, it’s like finding James’ disgusting scent where Mary’s should have been. It hurts because Mary fears that Bella could ever attack her. 

She heard Edward suck in a useless breath, some interaction that must set Mary at ease because she doesn’t look as careful, as afraid. The fact some man she doesn’t even know can reassure her when she can’t makes it hurt worse.

As she steps closer she can smell the telltale curl to Mary’s scent that indicates a mate. She isn’t at all surprised. It just makes Bella want to cry. She let her mate go, she let her mate get hurt, she failed her mate. She wonders if there’s anything Mary isn’t to her.

Best friend, family, lover, girlfriend, mate. Mary is her entire world and she let that animal James, that pathetic excuse of a father, hurt her. 

Mary stops within touching distance and she’s smiling, smiling like she hadn’t since before her cousin died. She greedily smells the air and it’s so carefree that it pulls a silly smile from Bella despite her internal pain. 

She pulls something from her purse and shows it to Bella. It’s old, barely holding together. Paper not incredibly well preserved but still whole. It’s the drawing.

“I don’t remember anything from before I got turned but apparently my sister Cynthia kept this, she passed it onto her daughter.” Alice steps even closer and everyone fades from Bella’s awareness except her. She hopes they left. “Is this you?”

“Yes.” Mary must know she has Bella’s entire world in her grasp.

“We knew each other?”

“Yes.” 

“We loved each other?” 

“So much.” In all the years she’s lived, she’s never doubted this. She’s never doubted her love or Mary’s love for her. It is a certainty of the world, of their relationship. Mary’s hand runs through the sides of her hair, curling around her neck.

“Your hair is shorter.”

“I cut it, dyed it too.”

“That’s okay. I can love a blonde too.”

Their relationship doesn’t end, it just keeps continuing. She thought this once and in the cold embrace of Alice Cullen, she knows it’s true. 

After a hundred years, her heart mends itself back together.


End file.
